Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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