It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
