Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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