We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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