do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
