Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
it glows. i had to have it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Text me some of your sweat
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
