I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It's just like the Real World with babies
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
