im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
