I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
