you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We left the knife in your bed.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
