GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
