the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
