gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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