it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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