So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
