So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
