And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
