It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
