So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
