we're blogging at a bar
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
