We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
