Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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