Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
