i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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