Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
