some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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