I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
