blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
