Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
