I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
