The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
