I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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