I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you win again, gameday.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
