mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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