I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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