I hate your face
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
