if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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