i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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