It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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