need another drink. this is the easiest way
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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