So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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