Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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