i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
