he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
