In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
