Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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