Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
how do flat chested girls get laid?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
