its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Randomize
