Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
ttyl tear gas
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The adults are the big ones right?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
