I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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