i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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