you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
