You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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