Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm just crazy horny about you
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
