Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
