hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
