whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
