And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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