So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
